Sugar free jello was my absolute go to during my last cut. Took care of my sweet tooth and filled me up on basically no calories.

Was really hoping for Pizza and Ice Cream to be on this list

I've never really understood the craze for VR headests. It's not more realistic to me, it just requires me to move my head.

Speaking on behalf of millennials everywhere, WHAT'S A RETIREMENT?

Most of them involve some sort of frustrating technical issues. Plenty of those!

i was at the mall with my gf, she was in some random other store like express or something and I was gonna meet her by the exit. She said 'ok I'm coming'

Arkansas: While cost of living is low, high crime rate, access to quality health care, and high taxes make it tough on seniors.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OF COURSE I DID!
I was one of the only people to see the originals on Super Deluxe!

TOOK ME YEARS TO DEVELOP THESE SKILLS.

JUST LIKE COLUMBUS!
UH!
HE GET THE BLOODLUST!
UH!
JUST LIKE COLUMBUS HE GET MURDEROUS ON PURPOSE!

Be! Aggressive! Be! Be! Aggressive!

She looks better than ever. I attribute it mostly to the fact that todays hairstyle and makeup is much better than 90's. But obviously she also aged extremely well.

They're eating her ... and then they're going to eat me ... OH MY GAAAAAAAAAWWWWDDDDD!!!!!!

So, like every other meeting.

"Sorry, I have to take this."

You mean the raging asshole that is Soybean Wind of course.

Yeah, only smart people deserve to get paid.

the ladder sponsor cracked me up

"AT&T at the Half is presented by AT&T"