i will LITERALLY die if i do not get that lipstick. 

My dog would lose his shit over a doorbell on the tv, and I didn’t even have one. I would tell visitors to call me when they arrived so I could go out and let them in, I didn’t want them buzzing me on the intercom and make his head explode.

WHY DID YOU AVOID SAYING “BAD OMBRE”

This.

John Fogerty got sued for plagiarizing himself. He wrote Run Through the Jungle while with Creedence Clearwater Revival, and then wrote a extremely similar sounding song after he left the band called The Old Man Down the Road. The rest of CCR sued him, as he had traded claims to the rights of his CCR songs to get out…

Have they conclusively ruled out Epstein-Barr virus, more commonly known as mono? That kind of fatigue is really common with EBV, and it is often missed because there are so many differential diagnoses (other possible causes) for fatigue. It’s missed a lot because almost everyone is a carrier of EBV (>95%, if memory…

And the final word, “Hot Chocolate Wipes The Floor With Both.”

There are many fine beverages on both sides.

Yeah, but it goes a lot farther. A pound of coffee is what, 30-some cups? A teaspoon of Oolong leaves in a little brewing pot is good for three good big mugs, which the math shows is mumbletyfuck servings to a pound, where mumbletyfuck is a number much greater than 30.

Co-signed,

But how do you know that your spouse likes the same kind of bacon you like, if neither of you have tried bacon and have no idea how to cook the bacon? Maple or Apple smoked? Thin sliced or thick? Peppered (hell no)? Soft cooked or well done? What if you absolutely LOVE bacon and your spouse decides, now that they’ve…

A few weeks ago I went to see Jimmy Carter teach his Sunday school class. The lesson was about how we can be better to neighbors that are less fortunate. He did the Socratic thing and asked the audience some things they could do. People said things like visit with them and take them dinner and take them to doctors’…

Thursday nights without Scandal are not the same. 

It was more of a “hey, you never know” type of “why not” than an “I actually want an answer to why this would be unwieldy” type of “why not”. And while you make valid points, this is a Thursday, and Thursday just isn’t a good day to try to reason with me about Scandal not being on anymore.

“I saw the ad, and let me tell you, it was some Pulp Fiction!” [aide whispers something in his ear] “God damn it.”

I’d sure as hell remember Liam riding me around and it would be among my most cherished recollections.

To imply that every comparison must be between two equal subjects is a logical fallacy that is simply dumb. But do yourself a favor and read up on how the Nazis came to power and how the Holocaust came about. Again, I’m not saying today’s climate is the same, you’re the only one saying that, but comparisons are…

Lost most of her family, almost starved, yet she still found the strength to resist.

I’ve found the best way to properly store wine is in one’s body, via the mouth.

Um, who is that? Because I might be willing to.