I've heard this is actually a common feeling, although I tend to get it next to railings at the second-floor of the mall. Perhaps the thrill of falling onto the roof of the Orange Julius cart is what is appealing to me.

I'd recently looked up the cost of train and bus tickets. Now, I had once been told that it was cheaper to go by train or bus only if you assumed your time had no value, since it takes like three days to go across the country on a bus or train.

I've flown only a few times, the only major intracontinental trip to my brother's wedding in Seattle. This paucity of flying is because I am poor. No wonder the little man thinks these high-falutin' comedians are snobs, with their constant airline humor! I bet they even throw in the extra cash for business class!

Weren't the Israelis trying to make robot wasps to spy on and assassinate people with deadly poisons?

Was this like how you can sleep on a bed of nails if you just spread your surface area out across enough of them?

I watched his stand-up specials and his show. It didn't make him magically successful. I don't think looking at his funny pictures will do anything, either.

What the—are you a character in a European arthouse film?!

Maybe they think it looks cool.

"Your honor, our cartoon is clearly protected by parody, for we know Mr. Watterson has never heretofore created pornographic material depicting Calvin and Hobbes having sex—"

Except if you look into it he also had actual underage porn of girls on his computer along with the Simpsons stuff.

Now, hold on, I think he's on to something here…

I thought W was the Decider?

I always took them to be acknowledgement of the old joke that the giant truck was indeed a replacement for the driver's penis.

A rather obnoxious lesbian I knew had one of a feminized Calvin peeing on the word "MEN" on her car window (peeing by copping a squat, as it were, since again, this was a feminized Calvin).

Ebert's focus on the Watchmen review was mostly on Dr. Manhattan and his alienation from humanity, which if anyone will remember also involved a rather artistic portrayal of the character's backstory set to Phillip Glass music.

It's 5 o' clock somewhere.

What if Germany wins, though?

It could be a new axiom for America: doing nothing is better than doing something terrible.

"we won’t be updating Newswire barring any major breaking news or tragic
misfortunes we hopefully haven’t willed into existence just by talking
about them."

You mean like that time someone put a moustache-less Hitler on "Hot or Not?"?