Being in my mid 30s, I take great pleasure knowing that I will (probably) see this guy die in my lifetime.

Me rolling out from under my rock to watch US news:

I’ve, had, the time of my life
And I owe it all to Путин

Ever since I was a wee nova it has been my life goal to own a big wheel of cheese. Now I’m an adult without much expendable income but a whole lot of know how so I’m going to make my own cheese (using powdered milk! Thanks for the info cheese loving doomsday preppers!)

You misspelled “Ghouliani”.

Thoughts and prayers, Roy.

I’m starting to think anyone who uses the phrase “witch hunt” in their own defense is automatically guilty of whatever they’re accused of doing.

I can’t be the only one who read “Rhode Island’s youngest state senator” in the headline, glanced down to see a video freeze-frame of Paul DiMaio, and wondered “that’s Rhode Island’s youngest senator?”

Ikr? Predators very often prey on those most vulnerable. Those who are powerless; those who might not be believed; those that are imperfect (of course, the truth is we are all imperfect). Because they are less likely to complain; and even if they do; less likely to be helped.

Yes. I sit amongst women 10-20 years older than me (at least). All white, all upper middle class and all scoffed at me when I said it was a disgrace none of the men who won at the Globes addressed their colleagues, who were engaged in a protest in that very room. “Why should they?”

Mine was exactly like a black eye, but just the inner 1/3 of a normal human fist caused one. So people would look and go “What the hell fell on your eye?” and wouldn’t believe it when I said it was a kitty punch.

My other super religious friend who thought she’d have “dozens of orgasms” on her wedding night because she “earned” that by staying a virgin and marrying one.

Well he also wants to be a casual farmer at the same time. You know those typical laid back jobs of farming and running a restaurant. Oh god do you think he wants to start a lifestyle brand?

My husband was stationed in Seattle at the time of Cobain’s death and attended a night memorial a few days after it happened. Courtney was there and just distraught. She was hugging people, sobbing, telling anyone and everyone how sorry she was and how much she loved him, and how she tried to help him. My husband…

Insecurity is the worst trait any human being can have. Case and point, I realized this early and was able to turn it around.

I’m a husky guy married to a thin white girl that’s over 6' in heels. She’s a freaking amazon. Our formal pictures are hilarious. I spent my teens studying without a girlfriend. In my 20's I…

Right? Like, the whole point of a strike is that you miss the people who are striking.

They sound like lyrics to a really fucked up version of “You Can Call Me Al.”

They both seemed into it, which is pleasantly surprising, because that isn’t always the case in the animal world (I’m looking at you, ducks).