So many experts in the comments. Expert in internet communication protocols, expert in patent law and litigation, expert in all matters legal. All ready at a moments notice to have opinions and assert them forcefully. Do any of them know anything about Intellectual Property litigation? Probably not, knowledge is an…

We’re not.

Fucking refugees. Time to build the wall. Property values are going to go down around here with all these new undesirables.

I think Trump is making a yuge mistake trying to find some middle ground between presenting a consistent message and free associating whatever random shit he pulls out of his ass at any given moment.

There they go victim blaming.

Hold the celebration there Trumpeteer. The first debate will tell the story. Until then just keep masturbating in your Make America Great Again cap.

Cycling is presumably a sport, which is a competition between human athletes and their capabilities. That’s not a fucking spreadsheet riding that bicycle. You want math/science to determine the winner, not just to design the equipment, then go all the way. Stick pedaling robots on the bicycle and remote control them…

Stop. Seriously. Stop now before it’s too late. For the love of God and the love of humanity ... stop.

If you are making an argument based on numbers, the numbers and the comparison need to be correct. Facts matter. “You know what I meant” is not a valid defense if you made an error.

Do not pay attention to what I said, but rather respond to what I meant to say.

She had her blood drawn ... $900 hospital bill.

If everyone calls you a jerk it’s likely that you are a jerk. Be pleased that the diagnosis was free and you have achieved self-knowledge.

Self driving cars that are totally free of a human behind a wheel and which share the roads with human driven vehicles are more than 10 years away. The real time image and environment acquisition and analysis and the artificial intelligence required to make the necessary judgement calls within acceptable error limits…

When Gawker shut down. Lepage is still trying to find Hamilton Nolan and Jordan Sargent.

Obviously we need trigger warnings on public toilet doors. We also need public safe spaces where we can go to peepee and poopoo without being confronted with the sight of others peepeeing and poopooing.

This would have been better if written by A Dog.

“I’m a man”

rear naked choke hold

When he came to his pants were on backwards and he had some discomfort sitting down for a while. That answers the why. The DNA sample might answer the who.

Or maybe as “Princess Ashley Jew.” Haha. So the that would be like PAJ with the initials and make her a reverse Jewish American Princess. Geddit? That’s funny. I bet Borowitz would like this joke. I better email it to him.