i JUST REALIZED that nancy grace and paula deen were not the same person.

The cat is probably smarter. Also probably less fucking disgusting, even considering that it shits in a box and licks its own ass on the reg.

re: NG

I think Nancy's got it bad for 2Chainz.

The sound of connecting to dial up internet.

Emergency kitten:

Imma sit this one out.

Oh for fuck's sake. THIS is the exact type of comment people are talking about when they talk shit about Jezebel commenters.

Ummm if your partner ever passes out you should stop fucking them and get them the medical attention they need (if any)... not just keep going until you're done.

Agreed. That, and they specifically address and then dispose of the "But he totally wanted it" excuse, going so far as to say "That is what rapists say." They also didn't shy away from using the word rapist or raped. They could have easily gone with "took advantage of" or something like that, but they didn't.

The fact that Abbi understood that it was wrong and called herself a monster is what sold it for me. Both rape moments in the episode, the Male Stacy one and when Abbi unwittingly kisses a 16 year old later, are immediately followed by "WHAT DID I DO??" not high fives. Still uncomfortable stuff, but that's what makes…

Upton Sinclair: 'It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.'

The troublemaker son Hakeem and his crew are hanging out in an upscale restaurant when one of his friends baits him into recording an iPhone message for a crush. Hakeem decides to pull out his dick and pee in the middle of the restaurant to show his love.

...just for clarification on whether or not I'm reading this wrong, is Kim being like "look at how skinny I am next to my fat pregnant sister"?

That dress looks great on Kim. I really think she dressed much better pre-Kanye.

Every person I've ever been stuck doing a group project with has always felt the necessity to tell me the history of their colon.

Earlier this week, at my dentist's office, another patient was saying things basically exactly like this to the hygienist. Then he asked if he could have his next appointment on Valentine's Day so he could "romance" her afterwards and she was polite but clearly not interested. It quickly evolved into her talking about…

You know what else is German?