I lost about 10 pounds from July-September on my last stress diet. Ate eggs, cheese, kale, pineapple, Italian meatballs, and xanax. Drank wine, coffee and water.

Call me suspicious, but my guess is the "threats" were more along the lines of trans supporters coming to the funeral rather than any harm to the family. The "threat" was people not letting them pretend they were having a funeral a son who died in a tragic accident because people would be there loudly proclaiming that…

The only "diet" that ever works for me is the stress diet. It consists of me having something shitty happen (death of loved one, bad break up, date a selfish asshole for 5 months) and then losing all interest in food, but forcing myself to eat cause I know I have to. But I usually won't really eat enough, because…

They loved their son so much that they killed their daughter.

Tim Tripp, pastor of the Northeast Church of Christ in Cincinnati, told NBC News that the funeral was moved because "the times and dates had been publicized, and the family's received threats."

Having severe depression made me lose 20 pounds. I had no appetite at all so just... didn't eat. I also spent a lot of my free time crying and having panic attacks. I don't recommend this diet.

The "I'm Literally Too Poor to Buy Food" Diet kept me svelt as hell in my early 20s.

Hey, I tried this one too! I had a wide range of foods though: candy and cookies AND brownies. I actually developed some stomach issues that I thought were genetic but mysteriously went away when I stopped eating so much sugar.

I guess it's settled then, I'll be having Chinese tonight. Haven't decided on the tears though, that'll depend on how far into the bourbon I get.

The Candy Diet:

You didn't shart enough.

i guess her butthole isn't cooking enough meals and stuff :(

I'm writing a dating guide by straight women for straight women. It will be called A Lifetime of Loneliness and Celibacy: WORTH IT.

"My wife is at home taking notes!"

Updated tips from Fox News

We've all grown up having how not to be raped safety tips drilled into our heads. All the safety tips in the world don't matter when rapists feel entitled to our bodies and the culture backs them up. So you can fuck off now.

Maybe when the topic is "Sexual Assault," and women are discussing their concerns about it, men should reconsider the urge to barge in and "play devils advocate."

Share your journey in real time with friends or loved ones using our Share My ETA feature.

This is bullshit. Those tips are really only telling you how to make sure you're getting into the Uber car you ordered. The problem is that the Uber car you ordered is being driven by a psycho that wants to rape, murder, and eat you in no particular order.

Someone needs to send Grandma off to Shady Pines.