Carlos Boozer endorses this hair

Brian Hairlacher!

Interviewer: Now that you are retired, are you concerned about CTE?

How is this news? We already knew that most Oklahomans knew how to have a “good time” with cousins.

“You’re too old to be yelling!” -looks at the heckler, turns and stares down George Karl, comes back to Kings’ bench.

Not pictured: the woman’s evidently MASSIVE vagina.

At least now we can tell them apart.

Well, he’s at least half-right.

You just can’t ignore the brilliance of that Trent Richardson trade.

That Perry Ellis kid really has style. It seems like the Kansas system really suits him. He might jump to the NBA early, as that seems to be the fashion these days, but I think he’ll be a good fit there as well.

Manziel ate dinner, gambled, and partied wearing a blonde wig, mustache, glasses, and hoodie, going by the name “Billy.”

I’m surprised he didn’t at least interview Al Pacino at one point.

That run is also an accurate reenactment of my roadside sobriety test.

This is basically his career in a nutshell: flashes of greatness followed by fucking it all up by being arrogant and selfish.

This is all the proof you really need.

Let’s be honest here, this behavior is appalling and unacceptable. I’m disgusted. I mean, somebody actually paid good money to buy a Bucs jersey?!?

Takes a big man to laugh at his own Floridian slip.

Newton was always a big, big fan of gravity.

Perfect. And it’s a Winston jersey.

I thought he learned his lesson regarding stealing from Floridians.