FUN FACT SHE IS BFF WITH KACEY MUSGRAVES WHO WROTE MAMA’S BROKEN HEART AND YOU KNOW THEY’RE GOING TO GET SUPER HIGH (OR SUPER DRUNK ON WINE) AND PEN SOME AMAAAAAZING DISS TRACKS.

OR, some people aren’t good at mating for life.

Miranda’s break-up album is going to be SO. FUCKING.GOOD.

That’s setting their kid up for a wicked eating disorder. Poor kid.

That is totally not giving your child a complex. I have a neighbor who told me she offered her daughter’s seven year old friend french fries as part of her lunch and the kid looked at her and said “I have already eaten all of my carbs for the week, I cannot have anymore.” Evidently that family is on the paleo diet and…

this is always my favorite one

This was my favorite of the joke submissions that I saw:

They should have gone simpler. Instead of a gyro chip, they could have done a tziziki chip. Instead of a reuben chip, they could have done Distilled Human Suffering.

And women are giving it back to men in the form of pharyngeal cancer. So vaccinating both genders... helps both genders.

It’s probably for the same reason that women are the only ones who have to take birth control. Why bother men with getting shots for a women’s disease? They don’t think or worry about the fact that men can give women HPV as well. It’s a shitty attitude, but it’s the world we live in.

I’m a sex worker by choice. I’m lucky I have the choice and I love my work.

That was my thought, too. Probably aids in keeping up the appearance of an “amicable” divorce and how “difficult” a decision it was. I’d bet it’s also to keep Ben from becoming the villain in the divorce and both their careers will come away unscathed.

I’m sure this divorce is being very closely managed by each of their PR reps. Somewhere in the agreement it is stated how long they would wear their rings post announcement.

They’re not divorced yet, so, maybe out of respect for that? I dunno. The bigger question is, why does my married husband NOT wear his wedding ring?

You know what else encourages sexual activity amongst young people?

I recently got an implant. Does anyone need my old case?

It’s okay to still love 2002. It is. Isn’t it?