I dated a guy who’s family decorated their home in Pepsi memorabilia. I once made the mistake of bringing a diet coke into their home, once, ONCE.

I used to drink at least 3 cans of regular Coke every day. One day I decided to just quit cold turkey (and gave up all sodas for awhile although these days I’ll have a clear one like Sprite every once in awhile) and switched to unsweetened iced tea. I was partially motivated by the potential for weight loss but ended…

I had a 2 liter Diet Pepsi habit for a very long time. When I went cold turkey, I had a caffeine withdrawal headache for a few days, but that was the only affect. None of my health issues resolved themselves, I didn’t feel any different for lack of Diet Pepsi and aspertame.

People who like Pepsi are weird.

DR PEPPER WITH SPLENDA, PLEASE

But not in Canada, damnit. I guess I’ll just have to keep feeding my imaginary brain tumor a while longer. Curse you, pepsico canada.

When I was pregnant, Coldstone would upgrade me to a Love It from a Like It. Bless them.

When I was pregnant, I stood in line for Ben and Jerry’s free cone day. I got two scoops of ice cream and when my friend said “hey! Why does she get two?”, the woman who scooped said in a no nonsense tone “preggos get two scoops”. Yay for two scoops!

Assuming that he is gluttonous, is there any evidence at all that not being able to control his eating transfers into other areas? I never bought arguments of the type “if he lied about sex, what else is he lying about?” or “if he can’t control his portions, will he be able to control spending?” CATEGORY MISTAKE,…

more importantly, can we talk about how paleo is the dumbest

Good. Instead of talking about qualifications, we’re talking about his body and eating habits.

And she’s wearing black! I mean, this whole thing is respectful AS FUCK.

There will be more than one stiff at that funeral!

True story: I did military Honors for a woman who was in the marine corps in ww2. She ended up being a colonel. Can you imagine how tough that means she was? All veterans plaque thingys look the same. They have name, rank, service, years of birth and death, and a quote. Hers was, hand to god, “it’s five o’clock…

Nope. Cassie, I love you, but Im’a stop you right there.

“So sorry for your loss.”

Well if you need a pole, and rigor mortis hasn’t dissipated yet...

When I was on active duty, I was in the honor guard for three years. So I went to about 1500 funerals. I guarantee that approximately 1499 of them would have checked the strippers and snakes box were it available to them.....