Definitely lies.

I won’t be able to help from Atlanta but I’ll certainly be rooting for you.

Am I doing this right?

This guy, hands down.

I park absolutely as hard as I possibly can, with as much effort as I can muster.

Jzilla track days will get you on more of our local tracks. This year we’re doing Road Atlanta, Atlanta Motorsports Park, and Roebling Road.

Good morning!

But this was the Cadillac of minivans!!

RIP Doug DeMuro... frozen to death and eaten by a Nunavut-manufactured polar bear while stranded on the roadside by British engineering.

Actually it’s just a photoshopped Cappuccino.

Wait, is that part NB Miata? I’m confused!

I could stare at this all day.

I recommend Chuck Norris Action Pants (tm).

I was expecting something beginning with, “Well, I was looking at Scions but all the salespeople in the dealership were ignoring me so I farted on one and left.” Your reasoning is disappointingly normal and very similar to your previous choice of a Land Rover. Also, where’s the Touareg joke? Who are you and what have…

This, sir, is an enthusiast’s Prius:

Came here for a Touareg joke. Left more than satisfied.

She was quite clear about what she wants.

I’ve honed my anger carefully across several phases of dumbshit car trends and two failed importing businesses (thanks to untrustworthy business partners).

Make eye contact with yourself in a mirror while masturbating and understanding will come. (Puns, I have them.)

I’m actually working on that, but most of my best work takes place in comments here.