Satanists don’t actually worship Satan. They don’t even believe in Satan as a literal being. More that they see him as a symbol of rebellion against God / traditional religion, not unlike how the Romantic poets saw him. Satan is cast as the villain of Christianity when really all he did was give humans the gift of…

God damn that’s an ugly baby.

“Skip, I’m here with the gunman helping him reload... sir, tell me is that a SW or Sig you’re using there? Oh, Ruger? Shoulda known with the gray and black color combo... Skip, going back to you in the newsroom, I’ve got to go slap around the hostages while our Freedom Fighter here lays down some suppressing fire.”