Because Kotaku is a thing that exists and I’d like some content that covers Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, Football, Golf, Futball, Tennis, you know, actual fucking sports. Not a bunch of pubescent dipshits fucking around on a controller. One more time for emphasis: actual sports.

Punk bitch fucking loser ass chump motherfucking cunt that would get the fuck beat out of himself if he ever met the likes of me on the street. Type your cuck crap all you want, but I’ve witnessed, said, and done shit your little punk ass can’t even fathom. I’d break your nose without thinking about it as an after…

No. Just no. It’s the first ship in its class and budget over-runs are par for the course on the prototype. That’s why they do 2-3 years of trials before commissioning a ship-especially the prototype-to work out the bugs. You may be familiar with the Enterprise CVN-65, which was a one off ship that lead directly to…

It’s barbaric, plain and simple. I’m an atheist but I believe in something greater than myself. That something is the good side of human nature that most of us share. If I only have a dime to give you and you need a quarter, I’ll find you a quarter. Simple empathy. That is above all, what makes us human. A hurry-up…

Yeah, that’s brutal and sadistic bordering sociopathy.

Wonder bread white, duh.

Hey, Cheeto. Quit using drugs as an excuse for your attempt to keep the brown people out of this country.

Unprecedented and totally within the realm of possibility with this idiot.

The wall the wall the wall the wall YOU KNOW THEY CAN DIG TUNNELS, RIGHT?!? Because they do that, like, a lot. Also, people like drugs. Shut down one dealer or one pipeline and another enterprising motherfucker is going to step right into the breech. This how it works and has always worked.

This is a stupid comment from top to bottom.

Tremendous. The best team names.

It’s gotta be yard sale. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Huh. Per wikipedia it says Fleming was the first NHL player to be diagnosed with C.T.E. (post-mortem, obvs). Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

This person has got to be a troll right? Her whole argument (if you can call it that) seems to revolve around a man who may or may not have ever existed waving a gun around and either an anonymous- or wait, “concerned citizen” who may or may not be a Mary Sue for herself in a fever dream. I can’t tell if she’s…

Thank you for the very fucking predictable response that I fucking predicted I would get. I clicked because I wanted something, anything, to read on a slow Sunday night so I clicked to see how many other people fucking hate this shit. turns out, just about the entire comments section. This crap doesn’t belong here and…

They get paid, but it’s in buy-one-get-one-free coupons to Cracker Barrel.

Most Americans are way too myopic to know or care what Brexit is. Upon hearing the word, The average Trump voter probably thinks it’s a new kind of pretzel or something.

No, no, no, no! That simply won’t do. My mug does nothing but tell your iWatch that your beverage is cold. It doesn’t heat your beverage and it doesn’t make any noise and you can’t microwave it because of the metals in the hardware. It only tells your iWatch when your tea is cold, that’s it. It also has no internal…

Well, you certainly are dumb if that’s your response to something everyone else seems to fucking know. You have nothing to prosecute without a victim making the accusation, you fucking twit. This is why rapes among undocumented immigrants aren’t being prosecuted, because they’re afraid of making a complaint and being…

And it’s not even hard to know about either, by taking just a little bit of an interest in it. I’ll admit, I’ve always been fascinated by aircraft carriers, but this is all really, really, basic shit that can be learned with like 5 minutes of reading. That is apparently too much for Our Dear Leader.