.

I started feeling for the guy when I heard he was from Sudan.

replace “study and find work” to “physically dominate children” and I think you’ve nailed it!

My girlfriends grandfather once asked me if I had a cock. I told him yes and sat there for a full minute awkwardly making minimal eye contact. He got up and brought back a Coke. That language barrier can fuck up any conversation.

Yeah, like, even if he got the full question out, it wasn’t headed in a good direction. But that calls for a talking-to from the boss, not an immediate axing.

Thank you. Somebody finally said it.

Murderers row? It’s not like they hired Craig James.

I’ve composed a poem/insane person rant using all of Drew’s all caps words:

1. Fuck you 2. You are lactose intolerant and should stop eating dairy 3. See point 1

Counterpoint:

Please don’t misquote Kevin Durant. It’s rude and unprofessional. He did NOT say that Mark Cuban is “an idiot.” He very clearly (and repeatedly) said he is “a idiot.”

I’m waiting for Curt to start selling his own brand of cheap mock English coins. The headline will be awesome:

Not surprising. Normally Padres and Cardinals only agree nothing was seen when one of them actually touches someone.

Say what you will about Adolf Hitler but he did kill Hitler.

I know, write?

Sounds like something a progressive liberal would say, you progressive liberal.

Note to angry letter writers: Words like “progressive” and “liberal” are only insults to those who aren’t progressive, or liberal.

Most of them are still trying to figure out how they can email a rock.

I’ll forever respect Kobe for his philosophy of “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take...And probably like 75% of the ones you take. Take more shots. Take all the shots...fuck Shaq.”

“I sold your mom to ISIS for a Chipotle gift card” made me laugh so hard