How is that not the last thing you check before you go on stage at a massive televised event? I always have the same list of checks before something important: 1. Nothing in nose 2. Nothing in teeth 3. Boobs not escaping from shirt 4. Fly is up/skirt isn’t tucked into underwear.

I’m picturing a new yorker article that follows the format ‘when I went to photograph his genitals, he seemed impatient and wouldn’t sit still for me to set up the lighting. Ultimately I just offered to photograph my own genitals while he was in the room, and he agreed! I now regret my actions. My dick has become a…

I think that Team Penis and Team Vagina should get together.

*Trump steps up and starts bloviating*

Undignified.

Trump introducing Pence:

I could be totally off base but for most of us, having the POTUS remind me of my mother isn’t entirely a bad thing.

Yeah, I mean, I’m not sure it’s an indictment of moms, so much. But it’s more like the frustrating part where mom will ruin your fun by showing an interest in what you’re doing pointing out how it could be done better or useful for something you might not have considered.

Suprisingly, many moms are versed in pop culture and smart phones. Besides, Hillary’s more a grandmom (Chelsea’s 36).

But but but, Hillary’s not a “cool girl” which is apparently the most important quality in a presidential candidate*

Hillary Clinton making mom jokes is great. She should make more of them. Reminding Americans that she is a mom who does things like tell mom jokes might help some of the fence sitters (true conservatives are lost causes on the Clinton front) remember that she’s not a WeinerCrusher PoliticoFemBot MK VIII.

She didn’t just design her own e-mail server. She and the Trilateral Commission developed Pokemon Go, alongside former intelligence contractors that now work for Niantic Inc., with the intent of having billions of eyes all across the world. Download the game, give HAARP and ECHELON permission to access your Google…

I think we ought to take Jezebel’s betrayal of Clinton very seriously. Is this a sign that they’re going Trump? I say yes. Vox is the only safe space left for us, I fear.

I found this endearing. My mom is nearly 70 and actually very technologically hip for a boomer. But I don’t know what the fuck Pokemon Go is, largely because I was too old for Pokemon so I don’t care. To me, this rang very true. I don’t need Hillary to be anything but what she is: a strong, experienced, intelligent…

And yet somehow she single-handedly designed implemented her email servers at the State Department?

But seriously there probably is a way to use Pokemon Go to turn out young voters.

And moms are stupid or something?

There it is! Go with your hate. Roll in it.

That’s a good solid Mom joke.

I’m actually surprised by how much snark she is getting for this. I thought it was super cute. She reminded me of my mom, who happens to be a) a terrible/adorable teller of jokes and b) a total badass you would do well not to cross.