Don’t buy a 15-year old AMG with a $10,000 budget. The Crown Vic suggestion is solid though. But I’d prefer a Grand Marquis or Town Car cream puff.

The Fast and the Fuhrerious

Fuck those CHUDS. Kids before squids.

Go fuck yourself.

As soon as the weather starts to break in NYC mobs of illegal dirt bike riding assholes start rampaging through the streets. The ride in such great numbers that the NYPD just does nothing. A couple of summers ago these fuckers were tearing ass down my street the wrong way and riding on the sidewalks. I had to yank…

Wow, what other far-fetched excuses have you found to talk about your project?

Masseuse in Green Bay could very well be the least erotic job in the country. God, you really have to be out of options to get into the practice of kneading the backfat of that population of total goobers. Telling yourself that it’s worth hearing all the “oh gaahhhd and oh craaap that’s good” because their constant…

Listen, I was 9 when the Tim Burton Batman came out too, but I try not to let it back me into bonkers takes like “Jack Nicolson was a better Joker than Heath Ledger.”

Except if you finish reading the article, he also concludes that most of the debris will burn up in orbit (in ten days).

As explained in a recent Economist article, what India did is similar to what NASA did in 2008, which is shoot down a satellite in a low-earth orbit. Not a great idea, but not the worst thing because low earth fragments burn up. Far worse was what China did, which is shoot down a high-earth orbit satellite. Those…

The real trick is uncoiling my frozen, hard as a rock garden hose without it breaking, turning on the water to the hose bib in the basement, going back outside, connecting the hose and utilizing this ‘hack’, then draining all the water out of the hose, coiling it, shutting off the hose bibb in the basement and letting…

It’s easy to talk oneself into believing that a car that has just had a ton of money poured into it won’t need anymore. I’ve done it many times. It has ALWAYS been wrong. Some cars just suck. This guy has gotten sick of pouring cash into it and knows it needs more, otherwise he’d keep it.

It would be unacceptable to do to a 1990 Geo Prism. It’s a different civil issue when the dollar value gets that high.

Mercedes and Ferrari both declined to participate. Rumor is for the next season they will.

In soviet Russia, ducks hunt you!

Okay, anyone else mis-scan this headline as

My gawd-get over yourself.

Enough money?

Fuck civil asset forfeiture.