Then you are dumb as fuck. Thanks for commenting.

Yes, exactly like this take. Thank you for the example.

omg u should fucking sue because YOU CAN DIE FROM SHIT LIKE THIS.

You could’ve used those Stone Cold references anytime in the last 48 hours.

The only way a baby learns is if you read to it. You’ve heard the old saying: “Give a man a baby, he’ll read for days—teach a man to read, the library still closes at 10 p.m. and he’s not allowed to sleep there, sorry, but those are the rules.”

Man, on the heels of B.o.B.’s bullshit earlier this week, it’s like everybody has to disagree with Newton.

Him: “Picaboooooo!”

God damn it.

Can’t believe he’s been at that job for a month and Kyle already has floor seats.

The purpose of the article is to express the opinion that this dude may well have no pages.

FUN FACT: Due to religious-based dietary restrictrions, none of these athletes can eat Donald Trump.

Did you miss the part where he went to inpatient rehab for alcohol abuse?

Just do it. You know you want to. You’re almost there, just go all the way. It starts with “sponsored content.” Then come the ad links below the articles that are designed to look like links to other Gawker media content. Then come the layoffs.

Both men realized that there was no beef– indeed, there never had been any–after sharing a long look at the Skyline.

Jeb! Jeb, it’s Marvin. Your brother, Marvin Bush. You know that new campaign you’re looking for?

It says something that W. is considered the dumb one when Jeb thinks there are only 16 hours in a day.

[Gerald Green’s house]

(Usually when a Green has to be restrained and hospitalized in Miami, it’s because of a stampede at the 4:30 PM Early Bird kosher buffet)

I am a[n emotionally stunted and/or sociopathic] 26-year-old man living in Michigan. I have a 17-year-old [and therefore, I assume, highly susceptible to manipulation through implicit or explicit threat of physically and/or emotionally abusive behavior] coworker [around] who[m I have constructed an elaborate sexual…