“Instead, it feels like the filmmakers could not legally use the actual iconic words so they had to substitute something similar.”

Red Letter Media’s short review of it is pretty good. They are completely horrified the entire time they’re watching it, lol.

She does also communicate with her dead mother, but maybe that was from being submerged in the magic spider water.

Hell yeah. Great to see more old AV Club features and writers return, and what a return for Rabin and My Year of Flops. Caught Madame Web once it hit Netflix (like a smart person) and this movie is hilarious and fascinatingly bizarre. Hard disagree with the linked AVC review from its release, it IS in the so bad it’s…

Her style worked well for the reluctant hero character in this weird movie though. I found her legitimately (and mostly intentionally) funny in this.

Having seen this mess of a movie and then obsessively read through all the pre-release material available, I’m willing to bet that Johnson is right: There was a good movie here at one point. Well, if not “good,” then at least “fun in a dumb way.”

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The elephants are all equipped with gimbals.

This is an absurd theory.  If the Earth was flipping around and around, how could the elephants hold it up?

The villain of Multitask of Badness doesn’t really make sense if you don’t know her motivations, which were established on her TV show. (And then resolved on the TV show. And then brought back for the movie because it was written by someone who clearly didn’t watch the fucking TV show and directed by a wonderful…

Edit: and RE: Rowling, fuck her but my thinking is she’s already like a multi-millionaire I’m not sweating the idea that she gets a few millions more.

Yeah that’s what a heretic who doesn’t know that the great space goat god Hrung eats the sun every night and poops out a new, fresh sun every morning would say!

I dislike the bland and colorless directorial stylings of David Yates, but the third and fourth movies were fantastic and I wish they had kept going in that direction, hiring a different auteur to make each film.

The sun does not “come up”. It’s position is eternally fixed at the bottom of the bowl that contains the universe. The Earth is a great disc that flips end over end in the middle of the bowl creating the illusion that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The night sky is nothing more than the lights of Hell…

Yep. I’d have a similar reaction to, say, revisiting The Avengers this way. It’s like...“but y’all already did this, barely a decade ago?”

Remaking Harry Potter at this point is tantamount to remaking the original Star Wars. The core trio, Radcliffe in particular, own those characters in the public consciousness with an iron grip. This show will have to be nothing less than phenomenal to shake them loose, and I’m not sure even that’s enough.

“Save it for Queen Doppelpopolis!!!”

Honestly nothing about the games would be that hard to do with a PG-13 rating. The violence is usually very cartoony or against non-human entities, so it’s very glib and not like visceral or gory. 

Based on the game’s sense of humor, that rating is right in its demographic wheelhouse.

In initial reports it sounded like the camera setup (Baldwin firing the weapon directly at the camera itself) was unplanned, but wikipedia says they were moving the camera setup and he was demonstrating his actions; since they were moving the camera and not a couple feet away from the lens as they would be during the…