Hi! Jorts/Shants Enthusiast Kevin Smith here.

$0.

An excellent first bike, then.

I will be The GhostOfRiffRaffsCowboyBoots for Halloween.

I feel you, handsome man. We are kindred spirits, obviously.

Kim Kardashian's dress looks like a saddle blanket.

meats*

Just before playoff games, they need to conk Andy Reid out and put him in a suspended animation / VR chamber like in Source Code and make him think he's coaching the team. Meanwhile, actual playcalling would be done by a really smart chicken pecking at a pegboard.

In his later years Zim would spend all day just trying to find his own dick.

His annual report will read all of five words, "The stock is doing good."

Came for the Kool-Aid man GIF and was not disappointed.

my japanese father-in-law came to visit and somewhere along the line he'd picked up a Steelers t-shirt. everywhere we went between MI and FL, people would come up to him or start shouting from a distance. they'd shout something about the Steelers and he'd have this surprised look on his face until somebody translated.…

As a Lions fan, I love to read these and mock the expections of other teams' fans. they all feel that success is just around the corner, and they get so angry at themselves for having believed when their team inevitably shits the bed. It's a helpless feeling, isn't it? Welcome to Detroit!

Pretty sure the St. Louis Cardinals would throw at these umpires.

Lol. You know I wasn't shitting directly on you or anything. If not, now you do! I really like the idea of the piece, but I think overuse of GIFs ruin almost any quality writing. They distract from the content and you're better than that. :) Just use properly sized still images and finish with one really good GIF.…

I am trying to do new things and would appreciate it if you supported me through this difficult transition period (send cookies). I am learning how to size gifs and so only the blinking should bother you soon.

Tell the Angels your problems ...

AS a lifelong Cardinals fan who actually thinks there's at least a sliver of good in a group of people striving to exhibit "class" and polite behavior, please allow me to just say....