"A pregnant woman has decided that this is the best place to be today." My favorite part.

Dear God, shrooming in a convention? What a terrible, terrible idea.

mark, I know you're our non-threatening hipster friend, but did you ever consider that umm, maybe this wasn't a serious pick up line?

Both teams played hard man +1

Rasheed Wallace: [nods approvingly]

Not every Pontiac owner is a sex offender, but all sex offenders own Pontiacs.

totally agree. I've always found it consistently hilarious.

The nicest thing I can say about Intolerable Cruelty is it is not the coen's worst movie (The Ladykillers)

I was gonna say that it's easy to be a great, fun grandpa when you never have to worry about money ever again...but then I remembered the wealthy shitstain grandparents of one of my exes. Good on Mitt.

This is delightful. I mean, candidate Romney can go scratch, but Grandpa Romney sounds awesome.

i got it from the internet

It's not as many as you think. They actually just got out a protractor and a giant black dildo and divided the angles 28 different ways.

can someone please figure out how to make me a gif of that white walker falling off the horse

I definitely think Rice should be suspended for longer, but this article is pretty disingenuous, and I feel like it is on purpose. It's telling that you're not linking to a story about the 'player who tested positive for marijuana during the offseason' being suspended for 16 games. I'm assuming you're talking about…

Mark, I think I would rather take my chances having my face on fire than drink a Bud Light, but to each his own.

In the words of the great Richard Pryor, "There's no such thing as bad pussy." RIP

Roasted chicken at the wedding feast, dripping with Westeros's best barbecue sauce, that could be described in a sentence or two and would add to the narrative. GRRM takes seven paragraphs. He includes the recipe for the sauce. And describes where to get the spices. With maps and traveling directions.