I’m sure it’s just swamp gas and weather balloons....

I totally wonder if there has been an uptick in sightings/visits since Trump took office? Like, even they can’t believe the shit that is happening and need to come in for a closer look.

You can’t believe, in the age of our Cheeto-dusted reality-TV president, that Howard Stern still has a show on satellite radio? Frankly I’m just glad he’s not the White House communications secretary.

I agree. I’m not saying people should demand a full blood panel before casually dating someone, I’m just saying I completely understand that herpes (and I feel like we all know that we’re talking about the genital kind here, so no obviously I don’t make out with people using a dental dam) is undesirable and it’s OK…

Does that mean that you never ever share a drink with someone or use the same lipstick, or use an oral prophylactic to kiss a new date? Because oral herpes are more prevalent and no one is a guarded about it. Yet no one demands for Herpes I test results before kissing for the first time.

I’d be worried it was actually John Travolta the whole time. 

Yes, I’ve taken acid before. Wait...was that the question? 

Dear Kimora and Russell: No she did not. Maybe she would have gotten in if she came from a different family or different parents, assuming the alternate-universe parents could also send her to the same prep schools and enroll her in the same extra-curriculars, and get the same quality recommendation letters.

When it comes to herpes I think the knee-jerk reaction from the “woke” side is herpes is prevalent and most people have it! Which is sort of true, but that doesn’t mean that it’s desirable. It’s right and good to, ya know, NOT want to have it and it’s on those who do to be honest about their diagnosis.

STD’s are a modern invention, clearly.

Fuck. That. Judgmental. Bitch. 

Why should my insurance cover whatever old man disease you have? I’m 32 and healthy. I don’t need to get medical treatment or take any pills. I mean. Why should I pay for your statins or whatever. You should exercise more or have been born with better genetics. 

So, have you never heard the cops on every show they’ve ever been featured when they are about to frisk someone ask “Is there anything in your pockets that might stick me?”

I can’t. I mean the whole thing is obviously totally ridiculous, but what’s really striking is that she clearly doesn’t know the definition of ‘stammer’?

“...his honesty” Please stop confusing “honesty” with “he’s willing to say the racist things out loud that I am too chickenshit to say out loud myself’.

“My first book was basically my diary.”

Another Trump fraudster. Harvard student? No. Fashion model? More like PR placement. Pro skater? Where? Poet? More like bad lyricist - to be charitable. Religious Jew? They really don’t intermarry, so even that doesn’t check out.

I mean. If you make the deliberate choice to work for evil but are “terrified they would find out that I was one of the so-called evil people” then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your life choices and possibly your decision-making process.

Very funny. Everybody knows the capital is Ontario.

I’ve worked for elected and public officials for almost 15 years. You are correct. This assumes the person being prepped is paying attention in the first place.