Sadly, our Big Wet President will not be throwing out the ceremonial first pitch on Sunday—though, as we’ve argued before, it would be the perfect thing to heal our divided nation

So you’re saying this isn’t the final Frontier?

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

You inspire me with your calm, stoic disposition and unwavering prioritization of that which matters most in life.

People who voted for trump should be sterilized. 

I wish it were fatal.

very cool we live with millions of fucking lunatics who think shit like this 

Yankees fans just didn't pray hard enough. 

Have to give Chapman credit for not properly blaming God for being against him in the postgame press conference

“not great but not terrible."

blasphemy

His comments had everything to do about the game situation that just occurred and nothing else 

What’s important to me is being able to open an article in Jalopnik without a video autoplaying.

Username checks out. 

Jesus, the Zapruder footage is clearer than this!

I hope you do! Then we can be spared your meandering self-congratulating babbling about how your team’s championships are just so much better than others’.

You sound like a moronic homer.

Nobody stays alive to keep watching the winningest team ever keep winning, I call bullshit. Your grandfather is alive just to cheer against that immigrant Altuve, i bet 

You can cut the tension with in a knife in a lot of the blood testing scenes.

yea