Bird: Don't get too close guys. I heard you can die from contact.

Here be Rock Spiders!

My niece drew a picture of her dog "playing" with the dog next door in school. And that's how the whole world found out that loveable family pet Otis really forcibly orally sodomized other animals in his free time.

Parents Night is dreadful. Last year I was singled out by a teacher in a room full of judgmental parents because my 3rd grader, for the "art show", drew a picture of a chicken giving a horse a hand-job. Seriously. I have the photo prove it if you provide me with an e-mail to send it. When I got home, I feared…

+15 in the clip and +1 in the hole

The first rule of CrossFit is you do not stop talking about CrossFit.

You're right. Wouldn't want Messi, Muller, Robben or C Ronaldo on our team.

A better solution would be to make a USMNT that's exclusively German.

We try our best to please the Ancient Ones, and we have fun while doing it. Cliches and all.

This just lends more credence to what we already knew. Saint Louis has the Best Felons in Baseball.

Come on, please don't lump Sublime in with all that other garbage. Yeah, I know, but still.

No tall Asians?

I can't believe anyone INVITED YOU TO THIS PARTY.

So if I owned a team called the Negroes, but donated tons of money to the United Negro College Fund, that would make it ok, right?

Yeah, that's a good point. The AD should have fired him the very first day, when Aguero stopped "coaching," "went home," and "got 8 hours of sleep."

not all white people

HODOR?

I thought it was kind of obvious with the clothes and the instragram filter.

Can I recommend this twice?

Ha! There is a guy that does look exactly like this in my Portland neighborhood...