I got busted for mine three weeks after the fact because some A-hole left a Corona cap on top of a random door trim at my parents’ house.

A football player with conviction, as opposed to a football player with convictions. Color me refreshed.

Man, this joke never gets old.

See the new face of Always-a-bridesmaid.

If you read Porno, it’s absolutely the sequel that everyone wants.

“THAT’S THE STUFF.”

In typical Capone’ing, they’d suspend him for the season for this.

Plus, who’s out there with his creds?

The only way to make this feel comfortable is to read that transcript like it’s a porno.

Or we live there because we have kids, and like having large yards and good soccer clubs and quality schools. But, you know, stick with your original thesis statement, you can discuss it with your friends as you ride your limo bus out to visit our wineries/distilleries/breweries.

You shut your pie hole. Garrison Keillor is an AMERICAN TREASURE.

Solid point. I just worry sometimes that they’re getting by on their epic game franchises, and that the constant attempt to recreate the wheel is a response to that criticism - that they’d be nothing without Mario, Zelda, et al. The WiiU was needlessly complicated. It was expensive, heavy, and it didn’t add to the…

That’s like awarding a kid a participation trophy. At this point, “try their best” isn’t good enough. They really can’t afford another system flop. That’s how you find yourself getting bought by Apple in 2018.

+1 for proper AP Style on “coming.”

Rep. McCarthy then got into a big black SUV and drove away like Bieber fleeing the paparazzi and drove away.

Your Hemingway readability score is a Grade 18. Tom’s is a 12. Try again.

#NotAllHyMen

There is money to be made in a line of porn where the actors are sans makeup.

Things I’ve learned today from Gawker Media that require picking my jaw up off the floor:

Jessica Alba is worth more than $350 million.

Zero chance a judge would grant a stay. Brady will never get any missed games back if the appeal confirms the Berman decision, and the salary is secondary to the intrinsic value of games; simply, Brady has finite number of opportunities he has to practice his craft.