Kevin, he doesn’t like or respect you or your website. It’s not that complicated.

All the jizz he's covered with

Better name than Samer.

Michael Irvin once stabbed a guy in the neck because he couldn't wait his turn to get a haircut. Then they cut and blackballed that guy and gave Michael Irvin a raise.

Leslie, we get it, you have a giant nose. You don’t have to name yourself “Horn”.

I see she draws her own face like she does Tom Brady’s. #shesugly. #badmakeupjoke

Pete, I don't know who you are and have never heard of you before, but I don't like you. I'm out on you.

Hey, Alex, go fuck yourself! The Lions record in home playoff games since 1957 is 1-2. Their record in road playoff games since 1957 is 0-10. The Ravens have only been around since 1996. Seriously, go fuck yourself. You get no sympathy here. Eff you. And eff the Lions, too!

No, then why do I bang so many uggos?

No, the secret is to get all the ingredients, but order then one at a time. If you just say everything, they will just put a little of each to try and save room for the rest. If you just say, “peppers... Cheese... Pico de gallo... Green sauce... Corn... Cheese... Sour cream... Etc...” You will get more of each.

She is old and gross. She does have lots of money though.

That's fine that he was gay, but I draw the line at necrophilia.

So one other story I’ve gotten from my horrible childhood as funeral directors kid. So when people get cremated, like cooking a chicken, there is grease that comes out during the process. Well because of this the crematory is set up with a grease drain and such. But, one time there was a dude who was like 600 lbs and…

So, my dad owned a funeral home. In high school He asked if I could drive to a place to pick up a body (yeah, I know...). So, I did and get to this place where there is this 90 year old guy naked on a table with a sheet over him. Woah!!! So they put him in the back of our suburban (we didn’t use hearses except for…

My girlfriend’s grandpa’s funeral. They sold us the casket they they used to use as a rental casket for a discount rate (hey it looked nice and was cheaper). The people at the funeral home apparently didn’t realize that it was a larger than normal casket because for a rental casket in case there is a larger person,…

Quit spying on us, bitch!

Not a problem, I make more than everyone because I’m a white male. Haha, in yo’ faces!

I would just work late and then jizz on their keyboard when everyone else has gone home. But, not many people make more than me, so lucky them.

Gay

Haha, suck it, black people!