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Brady: "We win with graciousness." And we lose because Mr. Kraft only pays me and anytime anyone else wants a raise, we jettison him.

"I just taste for the first time a can of Old Milwaukee...MAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AMERICA?"

Says the man who left a pregnant woman to hook up with a different woman. Nice definition of class there, Tom

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Relevant - Sherman in a white dress shirt and silver sequined bowtie interviewing fans on the street who hate Richard Sherman but don't know it's him:

NBA Whites Overpaid President:

As with all competitions that involve judges, figure skating is not a sport.

I coach college football to teach young men about responsibility and teamwork and accountability. The sport isnt about making money, its about helping young adults grow into great people and I take offe—hold on its my agent...uh, Texas just offered to double my salary, I'm outta this shithole, suckas!

Well you sure as hell wouldn't want sloweners, would you?

9.7 seconds. I clocked that cartoon bear penis on the air for 9.7 seconds. I checked four times because I was sure I was doing it wrong, but within a tenth each time, there it is. For most packages (groan) that's enough time for three different b-roll shots. Not here, friends. We want nearly 10 seconds of graphic

Same goes for Skyline Chili.

Also, this:

He'll be lost to free agency by 2015.

Now that the Town Car Executive L is gone, there's no reason to keep Lincoln around.

He may not be athletic, but he'll more than make up for it with scrappiness and work ethic.

To respect his dying wishes Bill will not be buried in a box, but rather he will be cremated and his ashes spread over a Little League field, allowing him to forever touch those who touched him most.

I tell my children to idolize Roger Goodell. Go straight to the top, kids, no reason to pussyfoot around with these middle-management types. The Big Boss has it all. Nonprofit status for one of the most profitable organizations in existence, hilarious antitrust exemption, ongoing cover-up and marginalization of

I honestly think Diehard with a Vengance is a more entertaining story than the first Die Hard. There's a sense of real urgency with Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson trying to solve riddles and guessing what's going on with Simon and the bank heist. Die Hard was great, but it was Willis running around and shooting dudes