You’re just Bias-ed

“One time I drank several too many Smithwick’s at a pub quiz, and the following morning had the worst beer shits in the history of mankind.”

Could we have done it differently? I guess you argue that we could’ve, yes: The Ben McAdoo Story

This isn’t true for string cheese

Ok. I believe you. But that’s exactly what Sasha Fierce would say.

hook this kinja straight up to my fuckin veins

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

Man... that was a sheep shot and ewe better not try that with me ‘cause there wool be hell to pay, I’ll rip ewe lamb from lamb by shear force of wool

To blow a game you would first have to be in the lead/shot of winning, and 0-0 is about as close as it would be.

The thought of a bunch of Massholes talking about heading up to Hammah Mountain makes me want to shoot myself in the fucking head. Happy Thanksgiving

No, if you want to sound like a native of anywhere from Lake Superior to Montana, say Mni Sota Makoce. Your guide is to how completely non-native people mispronounce Dakota words.

Pictured: Curry (left) and Durant.

Tell me more, poopydickbutt

As a recently married man—don’t worry, it gets...to continue. forever. At least then it probably won’t involve stationery.

wan’t planning on it, no

“Nah, they were just really fucking stupid.”

Chowders, ranked:
1. Corn chowder

I also take lots of artistic liberties in describing my girlfriend, mainly because I don’t have a girlfriend

Sounds like a mismatch.

my boyfriend would like you to know that i took artistic liberties with my portrayal of him here