I was going to go to the movies this afternoon, but there’s nothing out there as dramatic as the responses to this take are going to be.

Verbal Government Approval = DM from Trump

wow, the first good opinion on this website

The dive after Altidore gets up and nudges him is what makes it art.

Also the two likeliest subjects my uncle starts complaining about after his fourth 7-and-7.

The bat flips from Jays players are getting more and more disrespectful.

Dearly begloved, we are gathered today...

I thought the gender reveal party didn’t happen until at least second base, maybe even third.

God damnit Zeke stop getting yourself in trouble YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND HALF THE SEASON SUSPENDED AND THEN WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO GET MY FANTASY POINTS IN MY KEEPER LEAGUE?!?!?

That probably should have only been a double, but once the baking soda came into play, there was an extra base.

Big deal. There wasn’t even a wrecked Volkswagen in his way.

mom pls dont do this

Fans of advanced metrics said he did 191 of nothing in 1930. They were meaningless and indicative of nothing.

Condition has been downgraded to Gnarly

Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

I’m of the mindset that a hot dog both is and is not a sandwich. It is Schrodinger’s lunch.

I hope Jeter gave him a gift basket on his way out the door.

When you become outraged at everything, you are outraged at nothing.

They played on opposite lines in the playoffs and Draisaitl was the best player on the team

I look forward to the videos of angry fans burning Nick Young jerseys.