The bat flips from Jays players are getting more and more disrespectful.

Dearly begloved, we are gathered today...

I thought the gender reveal party didn’t happen until at least second base, maybe even third.

God damnit Zeke stop getting yourself in trouble YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND HALF THE SEASON SUSPENDED AND THEN WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO GET MY FANTASY POINTS IN MY KEEPER LEAGUE?!?!?

That probably should have only been a double, but once the baking soda came into play, there was an extra base.

Big deal. There wasn’t even a wrecked Volkswagen in his way.

mom pls dont do this

Fans of advanced metrics said he did 191 of nothing in 1930. They were meaningless and indicative of nothing.

Condition has been downgraded to Gnarly

Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

I’m of the mindset that a hot dog both is and is not a sandwich. It is Schrodinger’s lunch.

I hope Jeter gave him a gift basket on his way out the door.

When you become outraged at everything, you are outraged at nothing.

They played on opposite lines in the playoffs and Draisaitl was the best player on the team

I look forward to the videos of angry fans burning Nick Young jerseys.

Today the Great Salt Lake is even saltier.

This fucking dipshit is an approved commenter, and I’m not.

This now confirms my long-running suspicion that you are, in fact, Nicholas Sparks.

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

What an idiot. Dude leaves the Bulls and then wants beef.