So my friends and I all live on or around Dauphin Island. It’s a great place to live, but not during Spring Break because tourists descend upon the entire island like it’s the last stop before migrating across the ocean. We decided to hop the ferry an hour away to Gulf Shores, which is an even bigger Spring Break…

You’ve also pointed out a likely racial and income/resource bias in the study.
I checked the Methods section, and that would be correct:

My mother and I had a very difficult relationship. She was emotionally and verbally abusive, I was a rebellious kid. When I was around 13 she had a hysterectomy and wasn’t allowed to climb stairs for six weeks. So I invited my friends over every day to smoke weed and drink in our basement. And she could only stand at…

I made my mom give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a dying hamster. This was the second hamster to die in a short period of time. Hamster number 1 escaped and was very likely murdered by a cat, so we were already traumatized. I was sobbing and she had to so something, so she laid a piece of cloth over this probably…

I started playing soccer about a year and a half ago. A friend from work was on a c0-ed team that needed more women, or they wouldn’t be able to play, so they were desperate and no talent was needed. Which is good, cause I had none. I’m in my late 30s, haven’t ever played soccer seriously and haven’t played casually…

I started learning a new language about 18 months ago. Not too seriously, but a little bit a day. Now I’m at the point where I can read basic, elementary level short stories with minimal stoppage to look things up. It’s been really rewarding.

It’s not a new hobby, and I’ve mentioned it before (probably to the point of boring anyone paying attention) but I learned to ride a bike when I was 47. I did it for my husband, who hadn’t had a chance to ride in years and can’t really walk comfortably due to foot problems—I figured, what the hell, we’ll do something…

I GOT THE JOB. I GOT THE JOB. I GOT THE JOB!!!!! We just have to make it through March and we will be OK. I am about a week out from being able to reclaim unemployment but I am not sure how that will work. I am assuming I won’t qualify but I am going to try. I did a modest means application but you have to be working…

I made the mistake (at work) of criticizing people who buy 100 plastic water bottles a week by saying how ridiculous and wasteful it was/is.

At my brother and his wife’s baby shower his MIL spent the entire time bossing everyone around while drinking vodka out of a water bottle. She yelled at her husband to go out and get more when she ran out, and then proceeded to vomit all over the one bathroom in the building. The entire shower was made up of mostly…

All of the “Gee willikers...Looky at the purty snow. Makes me all humble,” doesn’t even BEGIN to make up for his racist bullshit.

“I don’t trust him. And I don’t really believe him.”

My 2¢: If your friend has the space and inclination, or you have the financial resources to have two living accommodations, I would continue to live apart. Then you can think about whether you want to give him the chance to *show* (not tell) you that he is worth the labor. At the same time, you can test out life on…

I’m so sorry. My thought process is very much in line with what Blue Pen Is a Nasty Woman said: no matter how many tears he cries now that he has been found out, he chose to lie to you, his partner of eight years. You sounded sceptical about the relationship for a while; he clearly has prioritised other people over…

I don’t have any specific advice, just good vibes for whatever ending you want to this part of your story...but if you’re someone who likes to process things by reading, I’d suggest anything by Esther Perel.

He can’t rationalize them because his rational reasons are selfish and self serving. He likes his new, shallower social scene. He likes fantasizing about this woman. He likes pretending he’s a brand new person with no ties.

The way he’s treating you IS abusive. The thing about abuse is that while we think of it as things like yelling and hitting, being taken advantage of, taken for granted, not listened to? Is just as brutal emotionally.

Blech, how gross and awful.

God, that’s awful. Do you live in a 1 or 2 bedroom? A roommate would be better than living like this. It's so hard financially to live alone. And even moving costs money. But maybe you can find a cheaper place, even a studio. I hope something changes for you this year.