I would like to see a series of articles from Spencer Pratt describing his investigation “Straight Man Tries Gay Sex.”

Julianne, you better watch your damn nerve. Okrrrrr.

He should, indeed, slay salmon with her. And film it.

Scrolling. Scrolling. Scrolling. Scrolling. Panic. Scrolling. Wailing. Scrolling.

*slap* Mickey, calm down. Stop it. Be quiet. Stop! What did I tell you about ranting and raving? You’re acting like a child, now stop it. Now, go take your nap and hopefully when you wake up you’ll be a responsible and reasonable young man.

Curse you, Republicans. You feed the truthers. You intentionally feed them.

I wish the other chic on the microphone across from her would shut up so I can hear.

Really? This? How?

Lets see something like a pig carcass, but I don’t want to be gross or anything.

Do you read? Watch the news?

Tell us more.

She just went up one notch.

I really dislike the phrase “man up.” I remember one time when my mama single-handedly thwarted a robbery at the 7-eleven while my father screamed from the car “Gracie get in the car! Gracie get in the car!” Another time, at age 67, she sprinted two blocks to rush to the aid of two teenagers on a moped who had been…

‘ve seen a bigger crack, but bitch ho don’t care.

I wonder if she made him a sandwich after all that hard work.

I’m seeing some Matt Damon in him. Is Matt Leo’s baby daddy? Woof.

Put down the pipe, Jimmy. Move away from the pipe.

Hello, Jimmy Johns ?

In my experience, a long flacid penis does not necessarily make a big erect penis. Just saying.

God bless your little hearts. This story goes far deeper and is much dirtier. The spirit of Lee Atwater lives on.