Watching all that porn. I think it would be hard.

I just didn't want you to think that I did not care.

You’re a pain in the ass.

True dis: I pat the airplane on the outside as I pass thru the doorway, and I say to it, “Nice plane, nice plane.”

It ain’t true cause I don’t see no pictures.

I don’t know, but I would like to be “in congress” with him.

Cremate me immediately following my death. Really, is there any other way to do it?

I choose this guy.

if you say you are going to clean the f****** kitchen that includes wiping down the f****** counterstops. Dirty f****** countertops equals dirty f****** kitchen.

"Canyon of Misinterpreted Judgment was by far my least favorite Nancy Drew book."

Forget Lisa. I want to hear about Lisa's son-in-law who is married to BeFelda, or whomever. Hubba vander hubba.

This name-dropping shit made me vomit.

Yeah. God bless her little heart. Wait until that little sweet angel is in the 9th grade and he sneaks out his window at 2am to go bang his girlfriend. So adorable. Makes you wanna just POP.

Always wear a power tie to your rape trial. It always looks good and speaks well of you.

Tamara Barney Judge would cut a bitch. I hate her.

You, and Tom Cruise.

MissAndry, how would you have dealt with the situation?

I automatically want the opposite of what a group of lawyers want.

If you have trouble playing/seeing the audio embed file in the post above, BE HAPPY.

This gives Aunt Bea the sads.