I have actually never mowed a lawn so I’m impressed!

Awww, good on your son! His roommate is going to remember that invitation for a long time.

Not kinda. This is plainly and unmistakably worse. I can’t even form a coherent sentence about how horrible this statement is.

I thought we agreed never to say “jorts”

Dont worry, you can have a daughter who is aware of these pageants who also gives no fucks. My family and I used to watch the Miss American pageant just to make fun of it (we still have an inside joke based on the 2000 pageant). Knowing about this stuff doesn't have to warp you for life.

I love that she thinks that people who watch a show about cooking with packaged food would also make cocoa from scratch.

I do this weekly.

Guster was a big hit with my lil one too. Her fave as a baby was Mona Lisa but now she asks for “Do You Live Me” almost daily.

I used a John Butler Trio song that he wrote for his daughter, so that worked for us.

My anxiety disorder and I did not need that reminder.

I have baby-fine hair so any longer than 24-48 hours (depending on how hot it is) without shampooing and I’m a greasy mess. It’s a serious disappointment to me because I have almost painfully dry skin, and yet my scalp is crazy oily?

RIGHT??? Cops are the ONLY group of workers I know who do this. Yeah, teachers’ unions will provide some legal support, but if I pepper spray a student because he got in my face, the NEA is gonna make an example out of me.

Me too! But whether she performed or just enjoyed the free meal... how was she invited to this in the first place?

Excellent.

I'm taking three graduate courses right now but that's still the most important thing I've learned today.

I know most people won’t take this warning seriously. But man, I’m gonna think twice before I let my daughter eat the batter. She’s 2. E. Coli would kill her.

Sign your baby up for the Imagination Library and you can have this moment in your house!

YES to this! We LOVE the Imagination Library. So far, we’ve gotten maybe 24 books, and almost all of them have been wonderful reads. Some of them are now our family’s favorites (Tea Party Rules, POUCH!, Truck Stop, lots of others...), and I never would have found them if not for this program.

Here’s a link if you want…

Really solid, hardwood furniture typically won’t fall, but it can happen. A friend of mine was crushed to death in 7th grade when a bookcase in our school fell on top of her. All it takes is a slightly uneven floor or a poorly balanced load.

You seem to think that the average American cares about the well-being of incarcerated people.