I'll phone Sotheby's first thing tomorrow. My vagina counts as a work of art, right?!

Huzzah for Jezzie oversharing! Relevant:

Well the only problem is, it doesn't seem to stay stretched so it's really rather painful if I go for more than a few months without sex. Lots of warming up needed to get back into the, er, swing of things. I rather over-identified with that ginger vampire on True Blood who lost her virginity every time she had sex,…

You know, I actually still have a hymen after several sexually active years (my gyno says because it's thicker than usual it just stretched to accommodate - sorry for the TMI), so this "medical exam to prove you're a virgin" is likely rather less accurate than these unsavoury men would like to believe.

I was 13 and it pissed off my parents. Of course I had to.

Um, I was saying that the HIMYM finale gave me more appreciation for the Friends finale. Believe me, very little could make me look favourably on the HIMYM finale. Except maybe Cersei ending up on the Iron Throne.

They were. Didn't mean I had to go around in one of their concert t-shirts that was so baggy it was practically a dress, though.

Whenever my sister and I go for sushi we always order the same starter.

I got a choker made of loads of little interlinked chains and it turned my entire neck green for days. I also didn't speak to my mum for a week because she wouldn't let me go to a Good Charlotte concert in Brixton by myself.

YOU ARE ME

I was 13 and I'd never watched it, but everyone in my school hyped it up so much and were freaking out so much towards the end that I ended up watching the finale when it aired. I then went back and watched the rest of the series, and it's one of my favourite shows to this day. I think this is why I get so impatient…

My rule (inherited from my mum) is if something is expensive and/or frivolous, I have to wait at least a year before I can buy it. This stops me buying trend-of-the-moment things (I've never regretted not buying Isabel Marant wedge trainers, for example, even though I was reeeeeally jealous of the girl I knew who had…

As a former public schoolgirl I am well aware that many public schoolboys are spoilt, sexist twats... but goddammit if they don't all know how to dress!

Sometimes I feel like I should put a BRIT WARNING before my posts. Like a trigger warning, only it stops people from correcting my spelling when I put u's in "colour" and "mum" and refer to "jumpers", "knickers", "trousers" and suchlike.

Well then there simply isn't any hope for you ;)

My mum is one of those people who grew up with absolutely no money and now has a lot, and she's a funny mix of extravagant and frugal. Like, she has this bespoke Amanda Wakely coat that cost well over a thousand pounds, but she's had it for ten years, wears it all winter and it's her only coat. Still looks good as…

The woman wearing it will also be carrying a £1500 Mulberry/Burberry/Prada/LV/You-Get-The-Drift handbag.

Apparently she was going to a state function and didn't have time to shower before getting her hair done. Thus - the most glamorous bath in the history of bathtime. I loved that woman.

Me too, from afar they look VERY similar - it's the hair/eyebrow combination.

I can't even believe that woman is human. She looks like a work of art.