To quote my friend Sharon, “I don’t care who uses the same public restroom as I do as long as they don’t pee on the floor.”

How do you know when someone is a vegan?

I can’t stop laughing at this Sea Hamster oh my god, humans are the best and worst thing in the world this is magnificent

And why haven’t these people been worried about their sons in the men’s room all this time? Oh, so maybe it’s not really about protecting their kids.

i pictured the “write a number” category when i thought to myself “all you have to do is just step out of the car. you can literally walk to safety”

iCloud has led to so many cheaters getting busted.

I’m going to use this post to shamelessly gush about the fact that I met the whole cast last spring at a premiere event and they are amazing. Also Tobias Menzies drunkenly hit on my friend. Also I took a picture with Caitriona and looked like a damn TROLL next to her. Girl is SO tall and gorgeous. Also trying to get…

When I was 26 I was just really focused on my drinking.

Martha is also rich as fuck. That helps you stay young looking, being able to afford the best food, medical care, get lots of sleep, and purchase amazing products. She should be the best looking 74 wear old you see all day.....

I love them and the Amazon deal is a good way to try all of them for about a buck a mask. So far I've loved the lemon one and the tomato one. My skin is super oily and I've noticed that it's brighter and more clear since I've started using them.

Locker room culture is such bullshit. Team Russell on this one.

I’m sure the right wingers will chime in with their logical observations.....

I’m an immigrant to Sweden who doesn’t have kids and I’m more than happy to pay 50% taxes to live in a society that prioritises quality of life.

“I don’t want to go bankrupt because I got cancer...”

You know, those spicy Latinas! You can’t leave them around your husband unless you want her to seduce him with her voodoo hips and flaming tamale lips.

I’d fire her- there’s just no excuse for that degree of technological incompetence.

Now at this point in Kyle’s story, the part of me who is the teenager who came of age in Brooklyn started bubbling up– and my hands started itching to take my earrings out and hold them while I got CRAZY.

What does it mean if I gush about my puppy?

When I bragged on Facebook I did it because I was happy & I wanted everyone who ever bullied me/ treated me like junk to see that I was happier than them. So for dick reasons, not insecure reasons. #notallbraggers

Consequently 54% of Facebook marriages in which the term "hubby" is frequently used in statuses end in divorce.