The problem isn’t the 5000 sailors on the ship shitting straight into the ocean. It’s the thousand other ships sailing the same shipping lanes all dumping their shit into the ocean that will have an impact.  

Why would you think that any aircraft carriers are going to survive the first 72 hours of WWIII?  

You are not allowed to complain about people’s poor social distancing behaviours when you are violating the most effective social distancing behaviour. Stay home unless you NEED to go out. Need is food, shelter and health care and whatever you need to do to keep the lights on. As much as I feel for your little man,…

Hold up.  What's up with the hate on jam and toast? Back before I entered into my prediabetic early middle age, jam on toast was my jam.  

So in this time of pandemic disease, are we really going to start embracing rats?  I'm just saying, maybe it's a little "too soon".

This should be The Takeout national anthem.

My wife and father live with me and I told them not to get sick because there is nothing that is going to stop me from taking care of them. I would probably try to make some fruitless effort with bleach and bandanas to be more “sterile”, but let’s be honest, everyone in a household is going to get exposed. That's just…

Where’s Idris at? Huh, Covid19, tell me, where the fuck is Idris?

You are not wrong to point this out.  That is why we should be considering a wealth tax to pay for our Corona virus recovery.  If we are asking workers to give up 2/52 of their work hours to fight Corona virus why shouldn't we ask the 1% to give 5% (=2/52) of their wealth?  They will still have 50/52.  

The current President of the United States literally tweeted a picture of himself fiddling while a pandemic is burning through the world.  The most important thing is getting that asshole out of office.  Anybody not on board with that can go fuck themselves.

In the end, it was red mist. I killed them all. The doctor, the assistants, the Fireflies blocking my path. I even went back through before going through checkpoints to be sure I got them all.

So what you are saying is that Biden benefitted from the fact that people went out and voted for him.  

Hey, my people are both so cowardly we should only serve as drivers in the Army yet so fearsome we will charge at armed police officers completely unarmed.

Its not rational, it’s just about flexing. They will at the same time say that the Mexicans are stealing all our jerbs AND they are lazy welfare queens. The bigot isn’t rational, just deliberately ignorant.

Keep in mind this was a Randall's from the 80s.  If it was an HEB from today, he would have requested asylum on the spot.

Its been a long time since I’ve been to IHOP, but are their pancakes any good? The last time I had them years ago I thought they were kind of shitty. One step above frozen microwave pancakes, which is a thing that should not exist. Unless it is one of those bougie breakfast places that you would find on a food network…

Why would executing innocent white men of crimes they did not commit be justice? I am not morally against the death penalty, I just know that our system of law is incapable of doing it without innocent people being murdered by the state.

This thing is deceptive because most of a donut's problems come from it being deep fried bread.  

If it is trying to imitate a meat product I appreciate knowing what it’s trying to imitate. If this vegan butter is trying to imitate butter then I’m fine having it in the name. The problem with this product packaging is definitely deceptive. Vegan and butter should be the same size.

Because the winning campaigns want to be able to get out their spin narrative ASAP to work on the NH primary. Because someone who “wins” with a plurality of only 5 or 6% clearly makes a difference when delegates are awarded proportionally.