So, compulsive masturbator then?

k-k-k-killl…. m-m-m-m-meeeee…..

...Police are looking for ‘a green Ford Mustang and a dark-colored sports car...’

The pay is okay; the benefits are great.

IBM’s computer thinks in chocolate and vanilla. Sometimes what it knows is chocolate, sometimes it’s vanilla, sometimes it’s a swirl. Sometimes, though, the swirl melts; then you have to decide if there was more chocolate or more vanilla in that puddle. IBM just hired a fat kid that can tell the difference.

With you, only make mine a Buick (with the rear end and suspension from the SS, of course).

The most comfortable track car ever created. The last real Impala SS has a special place in my heart, and practically defines heavyweight with a desire to be a performance car. I believe this one went off in the bitch, collected the tire wall head-on, and still drove home.

Isn’t it amazing how someone was able to make Bay look like a complete asshat just using a bunch of action figures in their basement?

“Is that why we had to kill all the birdies, Daddy?”

You never realize how much you take this part for granted until you turn your key and all you hear is a click.

Doesn't sound like your insanity is in any way temporary. You apparently live in a GTA-like fantasyland, and believe citizens sane and humane enough to make jury duty would sanctify a cowardly attack from behind. This man taught this family a valuable lesson; one you apparently need to learn. Protect your kids by…

This is why I carry. In case a crazy family decides to follow me home and I don’t have my chainsaw.

One of the best bombastic space opera movies outside of Star Wars themselves ends with him sitting on a throne, ruling an armada of gothic wannabe undead in spaceships that look like Michelangelo crossed paths with H.R. Giger and they made beautiful spaceships together.

Driving absurdly fast on public roads with general traffic on them is a colossally stupid idea, and this time it looks like the car agreed, committing suicide instead of being part of continued stupidity. The Kansas Highway Patrol arrested a man yesterday for going 176 MPH on Interstate 35, and caught him because his…

Never a bad reason to watch Kylie Minogues fanny.