Ahahahahahahahahahaha... Aaah. Ha. Whew thank you. After a day of wrangling a tiny person, I needed that comedic relief. I guarantee the only people excited about you “imparting your wisdom and knowledge” on your imaginary kids is you and me. You because you think it’s gonna happen like that, and me because I know…

Your entire argument is predicated on the idea that parents are always a positive influence or will always know what is best for the emotional health and safety of their child. They don’t. Humans are fallible, and reproduction won’t magically instill in you several millennia’s worth of parental wisdom. Being there for…

I’m glad you plotted out your 5 year plan, but that has fuck all to do with it. You just really clearly do not know what you’re talking about, and the shit you’re saying is offensive as well as ignorant. Some people’s jobs require them to travel. My husband has that kind of job. And rather than move their children,…

If you don’t shave King James into the side of his head, you need to reevaluate why you became a barber in the first place.

You're an idiot.

Did you understand what it would be like to date women before you hit puberty? Parenting is like that, except you get less choice of what your kids will be like. You know nothing about what your experience will be until you’re in the middle of it. I’ve known smart capable engineers, teachers, scientists and doctors…

Question possibly more appropriate for a Magary mailbag: Is there a dumber set of North American sports professionals (I really can’t use the term “athletes” here) than NASCAR drivers?

“They only showed him kill that guy on replay” is my favorite comeback of all time now. Find that hill and die on it, buddy.

I mean, call us back when you actually have kids and are forced to make these decisions in real life instead of judging millions of parents from your comfy spot on the sidelines.

Realistically, in a society where a single income is too little to support a family, is there anyone who “can have” kids by your standards?

Still finding it hard to punt Coach?

If you’re a cranky old white man, you can say that we need to make America great again, because there are all these minorities and women asking for special (read: equal) treatment. Obviously America isn’t great for YOU. You used to be top dog, king shit, and you could get away with anything! Nowadays when you yell…

His appeal to African-American voters in recent weeks: THINGS ARE TERRIBLE! IF YOU WALK DOWN ANY STREET YOU’LL GET SHOT 25 TIMES! VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE IT CAN’T POSSIBLY GET WORSE!

Maine-Endwell, N.Y. beat the team from Seoul, South Korea, 2-1, in the championship game.

Also, the person she “left” her child with was that child’s other parent. If it was a succession of hired nannies I might be willing to entertain some speculation (although being raised primarily by paid help has worked well enough for enough people for long enough that I’m not even really ready to raise an eyebrow)…

And this right here is what pisses me the fuck off about our parenting culture in America. Parents (well, mostly mothers) are expected to be able to fill every single need for their children single-handedly. A parent is expected to be a caretaker, teacher, cook, laundress, cleaner, food source, and crafter-in-chief.…

“This won’t be paid for by taxpayers, it’ll be paid for by the people who pay this tax! I mean, that’s just science.”

“And I’ll tell you another thing,” Lynch said, “New Girl might be the best damn show on television.”

I’m going to assume that anyone watching the third quarter of a Chargers-Vikings preseason game is already voting for this stupid stadium plan.