I like Bernie but in general the sort of person who goes to his rallies could read Invisible Man and come away confused as to who the protagonist was.

Stick to sports.

Which would you say dismantled the military more, when Obama bombed Yemen, or when he bombed Somalia, or when he bombed Libya, or his current bombing campaigns in Syria and Iraq? What about when he hacked Iran’s centrifuges, that also totally decimated our military readiness.

Bye bitch!

MON DIEU

You know who else “gives the whole thing a scrotal feel”? Your mom.

I saw my first concert at the Coliseum too. Smashing Pumpkins (with special guests Fountains of Wayne!) in 1997.

You’ll definitely fuck up your banana if you try to peel it before it’s ripe, guy.

You sound more like a Red Sox fan actually.

Check his basement, that’s the face of someone with a collection of little girls’ hair.

White officers brutalizing and murdering black people is karmic retribution for white people murdering and dispossessing natives? You may want to shake your magic 8-ball again or something, because this is some of the dumbest, whitest shit I’ve ever read.

It helps to not see your victims as fully human.

Work e-mail accounts are still company property even if accessed from a privately owned device. All of this could have been avoided, or he might at least have had a leg to stand on in a wrongful termination suit, if he’d conducted his dirty business from his Gmail address.

Diet soda tastes like taint cheese and I question the character of anyone who enjoys it.

Everyone has the internet in their pocket now! Why do people continue to do dumb shit like this on company equipment? Can a lawyer answer that?

Eight seasons of the same damn plot arc every week and he still never managed to cure cooties.

Since the Orioles-Yankees game wouldn’t have aired on ESPN in New York, aren’t you kind of comparing apples and some fruit analogous to an Orioles-Marlins game?

Your wish is granted:

You’re not the first to say so. ;D