it turned both of them into pieces of shit.

Onanism is an archaic term for masturbation, after the Biblical character Onan, who had sex with his brother’s widow and was struck dead by God for pulling out and coming on the floor.

Stick to sports.

I cannot and will not

Scott Walker

who hurt you

Both Anthony Bourdain and Guy Fieri are must-watch television in our house. They each need to keep up what they’re doing, it’s working for them, their shows are great.

SO ORDERED:

As the child of a former longhair hippie who turned into the kind of person who frets about the prospects of “white genocide” and changed his facebook avatar to the Redskins logo, Atticus’ evolution seems sadly plausible.

Because his kids got sentenced to juvie and he didn’t say shit?

I remember when they did a Poochie reboot of Jughead and made him a badass skateboarder with a mohawk:

The 10 seconds of His n’ Hers my DVR picked up leading into Olbermann every night seems pretty good.

Saint Helena. Napoleon’s last stop.

Like the actual Metal Machine Music, no one would have wanted to listen to that, either.

As far as songs go, I actually prefer God Bless America to the Star-Spangled Banner, but even I don’t get up for it, and I’m a veteran.

It’s a testament to your dynamism, Governor Walker, that even though you spend all day spouting incoherent, demonstrably false bullshit out loud on the campaign trail, you reserve some grade-A nonsense special for the Deadspin comments section.

k thx

Counterpoint: Every thoroughfare in Missouri looks at least that shitty.

lol “A-Roid” great stuff man

1. Getting Hit By A Car