Drew, is there a "would-worst-pro-team-beat-best-college-team" variation you won't answer? Or do you just have the world's most weirdly specific case of amnesia?

gerrymandering?

there were probably boxes of them sitting in the MRAPs we gave the Iraqi army before ISIS ganked them

how do you get a redneck to suck your dick? put ranch on it

classic look that never goes out of style

Nah, bagel chips are gross. Take it from a New York Jew.

That's a halal/kosher MRE. We used to give them out in Afghanistan. The Afghans, to a man, loved everything except the bagel chips, which I always thought was hilarious.

i only starred this comment for your username

but what color does ISIS think that dress is?

a lot of this is "*may not apply to non-white people"

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we use the cast-iron skillet, coffeemaker, and toaster every day

jack white, the university of oklahoma, pitchfork, jezebel – everyone connected to this story is an asshole idiot. including me for commenting on it. fuck me.

it sounds like you're ordering a pizza when you actually want a baked potato

iggy azalea loves papa john's hawaiian pizza

pizzeria uno

wait so does that mean the 15 mph school zone is the exact same thing as being herded into a gas chamber at bayonet point? please say yes because i need some fresh material to yell at the city council next month

eliminate the state! an elegant and simple solution that ends human misery forever! have you shared this idea with anyone else or are you writing a book?

if only there were no minimum wage eric garner would still be alive