we use the cast-iron skillet, coffeemaker, and toaster every day

jack white, the university of oklahoma, pitchfork, jezebel – everyone connected to this story is an asshole idiot. including me for commenting on it. fuck me.

it sounds like you're ordering a pizza when you actually want a baked potato

iggy azalea loves papa john's hawaiian pizza

pizzeria uno

wait so does that mean the 15 mph school zone is the exact same thing as being herded into a gas chamber at bayonet point? please say yes because i need some fresh material to yell at the city council next month

eliminate the state! an elegant and simple solution that ends human misery forever! have you shared this idea with anyone else or are you writing a book?

if only there were no minimum wage eric garner would still be alive

if that ain't 'bitch that doses halloween candy with strichnyne' face i've never seen it

church has mass, dumbass. football has games

i hope tonight's game is declared forfeit and belicheck gets the chair

i can tell how little you care by the way you replied three times over the course of two hours

you're a 44 year old who says YOLO and LOLZ frequently and apparently without irony

no one in a cubs jersey can be allowed to win anything

clark and donald sterling were my only 'no' votes

boston is memphis with stupider accents

'eat ass' is actually cajun creole for 'magnolia street'. the dmv apologizes for omitting the house number

what kind of weirdo doesn't have sex at the b&b?

so then it's not a function of any sort of rational accounting but corporate avarice. cool, now we can talk economics