Both sides were mum.

For examples of "outstigating," see Cheney, Mary; and Gingrich, Candy.

+ two halves

In fairness, I did have them add an Acai Antioxidant Superfruit Shot.

By coincidence, I recently ordered a White Jamba at a well-known smoothie franchise and was disappointed to learn that it comprised nothing but Mitt Romney's sperm and pus from Zsa Gabor's bed sores.

+1

This is so good. +1

Why We Goatscape

Things That Will Kill The Internet, According To Joe Paterno

And for the saddest state of the postmodern blooper, look no further than Vincent Gallo.

For the saddest state of the pre-modern blooper, look no further than a tiny Civil War-era state, located between Texas and Louisiana and mostly lost to history, called Knoblauchland.

"And sometimes, in order for things to get worse, they have to start — even if it's just temporarily."

Well, I loathe the man for what he (allegedly) did or (allegedly) didn't do, but I can't help but feel bad that his life is ending this way. We humans are a mixed bag, ain't we?

Well, sure, Monday through Thursday I wear my rape suit, but on casual Fridays it's rape khakis!

Here is an image for you!

O Sharty, will you be my clicky-clicky-clickety-click-click Valentine? And if not my clicky-clicky-clickety-click-click Valentine, then perhaps an every-other-weekend paramour (sorry, I have Real Housewives retreats on the first and third weekends of month, and I ain’t wastin’ my spray-tan membership just for you,…

Alas, my semi-recent Gawker banning (read: mercy killing) shall prevent my personal involvement in the Deadspin incursion, so, as I lie dying (read: dead), please, O Deadspin Confederates, take my remaining ammo — verbs! nouns! really awesome adjectives! — from my cold dead hands and launch it posthaste and with…

Actually, if Rick Santorum is elected president, his trademark-pending Undercover Cops will be sleeping between you and your significant other, with orders to shoot should you attempt recreational sex, and orders to thump you repeatedly with a King James Bible should you attempt rear entry.

Owing to lactose intolerance, I've been forced to move to Soy Milk Crate Underpass. I don't mind it so much. It's quiet, pretty friendly, but good lord, milkin' them soybeans is a motherfucking chore.

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