For another spectacularly failed clearance, check out the Barnes & Noble bargain bin still stacked high with copies of Alfonso Soriano's How To Hit A Slider, Down And Away.

By the same token, when I typed in "head beneath Hollywood sign," I was directed to a series of disturbing photographs showing Yasmine Bleeth giving blowjobs to homeless men in Griffith Park.

In an interesting twist, Downing is related to Michael Bolton.

+1

+ two halves

Coincidentally, I too had a lay that cost me $1.4 million, but that's only because I ruined a Ming vase that Leona Helmsley had left in her vagina.

This reminds me of the time I went to Red Lobster Crabfest and spent the next two hours nibbling wild rice pilaf from Lindsay Lohan's crotch.

On a related note, Jason Kidd dropped out of the Joumana Challenge on Jan. 9, 2007.

On Oct. 20, 1977, upon detecting what he called a "funny odor," Sheriff Taylor used the same plane in an attempt to pull over Lynyrd Skynyrd's Convair CV-300 above Greenville, South Carolina.

Also ending at kickoff? Interest in Yale football games.

a poetic +1

After his booking, Downing stood for a mugshot, and his testicleprints were taken.

I vacationed there once. It was awful.

Well, I do pretty much the same thing whenever I'm finishing too fast.

FIFA Man Dates World Cup Drunk, Wakes Up With Vuvuzela In Asshole

While 9.7 percent of lacrosse players said they used cocaine, 99.7 percent said they used their parents' lake houses for coke parties.

"Yu Darvish, Me Rick Perry:" Hurler At Last Meets Texas Guv

Oy! +1

+1

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