+1

+18,000

Now that Fausto Carmona is not Fausto Carmona, I can safely say that I have something in common with Fausto Carmona.

Well, of course the game was a wash. We're talking about Ajax here.

After checking out the herpe on Tim Tebow's lip, check out the fece he dropped in Foxborough.

+1

Ooh, that's good.

Sixteen of the 32 members of the Pennsylvania Alliance of Conjoined Twins sat down with The New York Times yesterday to tell their side of the story.

+ uno

Weird. "It's time for a new definition" is precisely what my wife told me after my Ceausescu-era Romanian-made pectoral implants slipped down to my navel.

Lowe's manager: "Let's build something — namely, a big-ass rumor — together."

Contacted by police, the victim stated that he couldn't identify the attacker but that he did taste sweet n' low.

Leading the investigation is chief inspector Earl Grey.

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Inspired by the Deadspin report, and equally inspired by the commentariat's continued ridicule of his undersized weenie, former Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre has decided to launch the "Brat Packer," a signature line of crotch-stuffing sausage.

I think it's fair to say that in fathering two children, unabashed white guy Brett Favre did the most with the least.

Huh. I didn't even know that Poland gave out a Nobel Prize.

"Bob, RIP."

By coincidence, "break out the flat top" is what Lance Bass says whenever he hands the strap-on to Christina Applegate.

Yuletide DUAN