OK, this log-in thing ain't working for me. It's just taking me in circles. I mean, I'm here, yeah, but the system isn't letting me log in via Google mail. Methinks I'm not long for this Deadspin world.

Does this new log-in thing work? Let's see.

+5

As a veteran of numerous Spring Breaks on, and, in fact, as a former resident of, South Padre Island, Texas, I can tell you that, yes, that is South Padre Island, Texas. I can also tell you that Gronk will go on to hook up with a freshman pre-major from Mankato State, which, until now, is a school he’s never heard of…

Eh, it's a pretty good joke, actually. Short, punchy and absurd — a rare combination. What say I retroactively and symbolically approve it and we go on from there? Ah, but wait — Sliding Doors! What if by virtue of my retroactive and symbolic approval, you never go on to start your MKM blog?

Wow! What the hell? Seriously, were you really in the pink on this comment? If so, maybe I didn't see it. Or maybe you're just not that funny. Could be both. The mystery continues. . . .

Piece Of Ham Channels Through Inner Cass Elliot, Stops Abruptly

+1, outstanding.

The beauty of photography is that a picture can stop motion, or give the illusion of stopping motion, by capturing and framing an instant in the otherwise seamless succession of moment-spaces that we call "the flow of time." But don't let this picture fool you: A-Rod's career is still circling the drain.

As they say, this is awkward.

.

+1

+1

North Carolina officials have announced plans to rename the street DOC Number 0724852 Ave.

Burnett immediately announced his plans to begin bullfighting.

+1

A one-eyed matador?

Let me get this straight: Imhoff is saying that Wilt broke the old scoring record of 70-something points, right? So if my math is correct, that means each woman was valued at approximately .007 point. So, what he's really saying is that Wilt Chamberlain was the original Bond.

That will go nicely with my monogrammed tote bag, as my real name is Charlemagne Erasmus Rohypnol Ed Al Longwillieger. I said it will go nicely, not perfectly.

Yeah, I honestly had a feeling that Paul was both the sentimental and actual favorite all the way through. Sarah seemed nice enough, and skilled, but yeah, Paul had this thing from the start.