She was absolutely brilliant with the reveal: I know what I am going to name her. First name April. Last name Fools! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!

Hello hello!

Are you out of your mind? You know how many expenses a traditional wedding foists on the guests, and particularly the bridal party? Gifts,bridesmaid dresses/shoes, the bridal shower, the bachelor/bachelorette party? And the parents traditionally put big bucks into the wedding food and flowers and everything as well.…

I cannot stand people that say shit like "f-bomb." We are in a 24 hour bar doing cocaine, it's fucking okay to swear.

In all fairness, who wants to live in a house without a floor? Like, what would you even stand on?

this, like the missionary position outcome, is actually a "win" for feminism. And hear me out.

You can rip my Kerrygold from my cold, dead hands.

I'm hoping the entire Maleficent movie is nothing but that gif on a loop for two hours. BEST MOVIE EVER; GIVE IT ALL THE OSCARS.

European style SALTED butter, FT-double-W.

This really is the most disgusting thing I have seen in a long time. Being allergic to cats kicks it up that extra notch.

Okay, real talk: my mother (old, but not elderly- 70) was trying to explain this and I was 99% certain she was showing signs of geriatric dementia. No, morning TV *is* actually just this bonkers. I need to call her and apologize because my side of the conversation was basically "wait, what? a cat? in a bag? a calico…

I'm reminded of the last time my mom's cat went to the vet. He's a squirrelly little guy, always nervous about everything but generally pretty easy to handle. The vet sent home a cardboard kitty carrier to bring him in, and he got into it easily enough. All the way down in the car she was petting him through the…

There's a table full of Deadspin guys who were really, really confused.

As a guy with a severe fear of getting kids in my irresponsible student years, I gotta say that my heart goes out to all those poor American boys and girls that aren't getting their birth control.

Claire Underwood?

I just befriended a stranger on facebook because she went all out debunking a dumb friends anti-vaccination shit. It was a work of glory and I messaged her to tell her so. We're friends now.

I'm going with... he's jealous of former co-star Julianna Margulies with her Harvard educated lawyer husband so he decided to copy her.