A loaf of wonder bread contains 20 slices of bread. You can get them for about $2.00 a loaf. That means that you're $60.00 and some peanut butter away from a big FUCK YOU ASSHOLE avalanche of 300 peanut butter sandwiches the next time some helpless, simpering man-child asks you how many fucking minutes you've been up.

This morning I made a piping hot cup of disappointment for my husband. Rich black disappointment, tinged with regret and a sense of impending loss, served piping hot with two sugars and some cream.

Somewhere in the world a woman is working in a lab researching the genomes to cure deadly cancers and this chick is making sandwiches for a ring and that's what gets posted on a website for women.

Well, it's a reminder she's still really a child.

What, you mean to suggest "seize his money" isn't a euphemism?

Guess what? I don't look less Chinese! I'm not fooling anybody here.

I'm an hour and a half late to the party. How has no one represented the most superior character on the show, yet?

WHO WANTS A PIECE OF BIG BOO?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Taystee and Poussey are cool, obvs. But they're not everyone's favorite - Sophia and Sister Ingalls' fabulous Christmas pageant-directing duo is pretty damn awesome, yo.

Fun fact: Her twin brother played her as a man in the flashback scenes!

Ask and thee shall receive! This is my baby boy, Dutch :) My sweet sweet cross eyed Pit Bull!

I guess you could say he FELL HEAD OVER HEELS For her

I bet he popped his gum one too many times

Ask and ye shall receive.

My pooper Shiba Inu.

As a mental health counselor who has seen the impact therapy dogs and companion animals can have on the well-being, mental and physical, of the unstable, ill, bereaved, and even dying, I'm going with the pet companion. Lonely elderly patients, frightened autistic children, terminally ill patients facing end of life…

Donald Duck and Porky Pig were fucking visionaries.

I would cry too if I had Terry Richardson six inches from my face.