These are exciting times! Trump has drained the swamp (a delicate ecosystem which sustains innumerable variety of life) and has gleefully filled it with raw sewage and industrial run-off. But hey, it’s nice to see a president finally stick to his word, right Breitards?

Just do what everyone else does, shut off the WIFI, and remove the cable TV.

Van Helsing is one of those movies where I distinctly remember going to the theatres to see it, but I don’t remember a single thing from the movie.

Good luck, guy everybody’s girlfriend immediately hates upon meeting for the first time.

I don’t see it. Pitch Black with all the creepy crawly insects/crabs in dark slimy places would be a much better fit for a 50 Shades movie. Riddick, not so much.

I guarantee you he is a Harbaughian dickhead behind closed doors.

I’m sorry, but a VHS copy of 50 Shades makes it very difficult to take your story seriously.

No one named Brock is cool.

The last Brock we had in Denver didn’t workout so well.

Brock Olivo: “Excitement, uh, enthusiasm— that is very contagious.”

I feel like if he doesn’t make it as a football coach, he’ll be a very successful suicidal cult leader.

It wasn’t serious... lighten up.

Nah, you’re confusing it with your comment.

Ahh, remember when we had presidents who wrote drafts of things and then had them reviewed by people?

Assistant making rude editing jokes, interrupts important work. Sad!

The big shock will come when millions of poor people realize that Trump only sees them as potential victims. They think he has so much money that he won’t want any more, but they are wrong. He will rip off the U.S. in some form or fashion and get away with it because the opposition is too disorganized. It could…

The change to “popular” will take effect early next week.

I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!

Words never said before in this order:

Those are your words! I’m using your words!