The NFL is switching it up huh?

At the new stadium, instead of fans making up the “Black Hole,” they will be in the Glory Hole.

On the flip side, I’m really hoping the Vegas Stadium is named “PornHub Coliseum.”

So California will literally be left without a professional football team

Nothing builds a loyal fan base like a team whose entire attendance comes from free tickets comped to people on vacation.

#watersportsgate!

But only Crazy Donald could manage to bring the Nazis and the Russians together for a group hug and then all climb in bed together #makesyouthink

The one that keeps me up at night starts with:
If you give a Trump the nuclear codes

If a Hooker Gives an Orangutan a Fluffin’...

This needs more Tsars.

Give...?

“Doonald, uld friend. Do not vorry. I take care oov eveyting. Ooof course! No vone vill ever find out. Girls? Vhat girls? Poof! Like magik gone. You go now. Go home to vife...Melania? She has pretty face. And Kids? Vhat are names again? For holiday cards I send. Go now...ve vill talk...sometime verrrrry soon.”

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and kill a hooker and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” — Donald Trump

No, Vlad promised he was going to do that for him. I’m sure Vlad did just as he told Donald he’d do.

I have yet to see any evidence proving that Donald Trump has never killed a hooker.

Hitler also wrote his VERY OWN book!

Trumpa Trumpa pee,

I thought this was going to be an absurdist take on the DirecTV cable commercials wherein it would end with:

If the FSB has blackmail on Trump,
It could start a nuclear war.

Don’t start a nuclear war; don’t give Trump a hooker.

Before this gets out of hand let me say stop it right now to anyone who is going to start throwing out ridiculous Hitler comparisons to Trump.

+ 1 Jim Cooke and Tom